January 2011
27 posts
4 tags
I'd like to take a moment to remind y'all that I...
snow day SNOW DAY snowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowday SDJFKALSJSFDLGJW;JT90AW4UEPADK’; KFELJAGEAGHJALJDKLSJFKLSGFHA;LDNK;EH … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brady Deaton, you owe me a new keyboard.
Jan 31st
1 tag
“Coworker #1: The Black Eyed Keys. They have a song in the Super Bowl. Coworker...”
– On the difference between the Black Eyed Peas (not today’s guest) and the Black Keys (today’s guest) facepalming like a boss
Jan 31st
74 notes
1 tag
You Should Date An Illiterate Girl →
Jan 31st
Why David Sedaris Has a Tip Jar at Book Signings →
thingsthatscarelaurenleto: But sometimes you go to a public-radio station and there’s an intern who is not getting paid, so you give them $100. Or you’re signing books and there’s someone who looks like they could use $50. So you say, you look like you could use $50, and you give them $50.
Jan 30th
23 notes
Ow
this gave my heart a good thumpin’, as my pal dubya would say. “why is glitter so popular?” “we remember being stars.”
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
27 notes
I am the kind of tired that seeps into your bones...
stamina, give me some of it
Jan 27th
1 note
Jan 23rd
37 notes
if i could, i would bottle the scent of campfire...
Jan 22nd
4 notes
Jan 19th
697 notes
2 tags
I'll be the smartest dead guy.
I dont know where I’m goin. My Dad died, and he left me his degrees. My mom would always say “Dad, why dont you work?”,  But he just kept learning. All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school,  And I was actually in school all when my dad was in school. He was so greedy with degrees, he took my degree. And now I’m just glad he left me these....
Jan 19th
i fall in love with ideas, not people
4108446286: i have one night stands with postulates and never call them back i take conjectures behind the middle school and get them pregnant
Jan 18th
i fall in love with ideas, not people
Jan 17th
Jan 12th
496 notes
1 tag
BRAH
tomywife: You don’t have to like my friends (because I won’t like all of yours) but please respect them. Unless they’re total douchebags to you, in which case I will vanquish them. I want to reblog every tomywife post. I was exercising control and then “I will vanquish them” happened.
Jan 12th
153 notes
Insight
Me: Ohhhh. I dunno. These glasses are ninety-eight dollars.
Caitlin: Well, that's like a hundred bucks!
Jan 12th
2 notes
1 tag
It's so weird when you experience a cliche and it...
Kids, meet “tugging at your heartstrings”. Complete with frightening amounts of precociousness and now with more than a dash of actual talent, too!
Jan 11th
2 tags
Y'know that line between living it up a little and...
I have no idea where it is.
Jan 11th
Jan 10th
1,218 notes
Never too late to take someone's hand. →
Jan 10th
1 tag
“You’re the closest to heaven that I’ve ever been.”
– the inscription inside Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’s wedding ring; her husband, Mark Kelly, is an astronaut. (via washingtonpoststyle)
Jan 10th
547 notes
Jan 10th
Jan 8th
371 notes
i think i'm just going to have to accept the fact...
Jan 5th
Jan 2nd
1,545 notes
Jan 2nd
72 notes
Jan 2nd